Since we moved to a new area last summer, we have made many new friends and made lots of first impressions in the last few months. Consequently, I have had several opportunities to surprise people with the news that we are a homeschooling family. And I don't mean this in a judgmental way, but the responses are always fairly typical. In general, I get one of two things: I am either AMAZING or CRAZY. And, there's also the misconception that my children are either unusually obedient and talented or socially deprived and awkward and unplugged. Ha ha! And to be perfectly honest, I would have thought the same thing five years ago if I had met someone like me.
The truth is, none of those conclusions is entirely accurate, although all of them are a little bit true. Yes, we are a bit different. Yes, we have a non-mainstream approach to raising our children and guiding their education. And, even though lots of people might think we are crazy, I really don't care. Like everyone else, we are doing our best with what we have been given, and in the spirit of defending myself a little bit, I have a few confessions:
First, although so many people seem to disagree with me, I really don't think that "socialization" is the most important part of a child's education, or even half as important as our culture seems to think it is. Sure, children need to learn how to navigate the social world, how to communicate with other people and how to understand people who are different from them. But I feel very confident that my children can learn and master skills like that without being immersed in an environment of their peers for 7-10 hours a day.
And guess what? We LIKE being at home with each other! We don't do many playdates and we only do a few outside classes, lessons, sports activities, clubs, etc. We are not necessarily hip with the latest technology, trends, catch-phrases, celebrities, and popular music. My children are best friends with each other and have more time than most children to play creatively together. We have a very peaceful home, and sometimes we just like to be here, doing nothing but reading or playing together. Maybe that's all wierd, and maybe that makes us appear hermit-like or anti-social. But, that's the way we like it!
And guess what else? Our children are perfectly capable in social situations, at least as much as any child at an immature age can be, and can easily step into leadership roles with their peers. They are thriving and happy, and my feeling is that they have a lot less stress than they would attending regular school, so they actually have a certain confidence in social settings that they might not otherwise enjoy.
Our children might be out of step with popular culture in some ways (who the heck is Justin Bieber?), but they are gaining a lot of ground in studying about real heroes of history who have successfully managed real challenges of real life. I love being able to point out to them the effective life skills of people we study about in classic works, fun novels, and scriptures. And, there's always Phineas and Ferb to keep us plugged in to the outside world! Ha ha!
Some things I LOVE about homeschooling: When one child is studying something, they ALL get to learn about it! They naturally like to share with each other what they are learning, and no one ever wants to be left out of an experiment or project or craft. In the picture above, you see Courtney's and Chase's hands covered with a mixture of water and corn starch, as part of an experiment that Avery was doing in his studies on chemistry and the characteristics of liquids and solids. My kindergarten-age daughter is already familiar with the periodic table and electronic circuits and Roman history and mythology, thanks to her brothers!
Another thing I love is that "grades" are really unimportant. My kids don't really even know what grade they are in. They might be, by age, in 3rd grade. But they could be doing 4th grade math, 5th grade language arts, and 6th grade literature. We get to be flexible on what is working for them, on what topics capture their interest and talents, etc. I increase their work load by the maturity I see in them and in a way that encourages a love of learning. I try to avoid situations in which they start to see learning and study as drudgery.
And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being there to watch them learn, to be amazed along with them when they learn something new, to watch their talents flourish right before my eyes.
There are things I don't love about homeschooling, too. One thing is that it is very difficult to keep my house clean, because it is full of children all the time and I am too busy working with my children to spend enough time cleaning. I just can't keep up with it the way I want to.
I also don't like that for every errand, every trip to the grocery store, every doctor's visit, every Visiting Teaching appointment, I have to take ALL of my children with me. It can be very distracting and very crowded and very boring for them! And, although they are usually very well-behaved at these things, it certainly is a challenge for all of us. It keeps me from wanting to get out very much and keeps me somewhat isolated from other moms who might be my own social group. But, it also means I stay efficient and organized so that I can minimize that stress.
One thing that does make me sad is that we tend to be misunderstood a lot, but I try not to let it bother me too much. I really don't understand why there are people who assume that because we do things differently, we think we are superior to them or judge them for NOT doing it our way. Quite the contrary! I actually understand quite clearly that what we are doing is good for US, but wouldn't really work for everyone. It's a good fit for our family, but other families have different needs and characteristics from ours. So, I would never try to impose our philosophy on others. We all have different strengths and talents, and we all reap the benefits or consequences of what we do with them.
So, although we might be unusual, we are living the life that works for us. Where we are weak, we try to improve. Where we have challenges, we try to problem-solve. We have some talents that make us amazing, and we have some areas where we are completely dopey. We have some areas where we prosper, and some areas where we are poor. And, different as we may be, we are just plugging away and doing our best like everyone else!
And that's my true confession about being a homeschooling family. :)
