Nate and I believe this with all of our hearts! We believe that Heavenly Father created all of us to achieve, to overcome, to win, to eventually become as full of grace and truth and light and intelligence as God Himself. Isn't that amazing? We all have that great potential!
However, we do not all have the same mission to fulfill in this world. We don't all share the same talents or abilities or interests. And we certainly don't all come to this earth under the same circumstances. Therefore, glorious "success" in this mortal life will look very different for all of us.
I actually give this a lot of thought. Because Nate and I have chosen to be small business owners as well as homeschool parents, we put ourselves in a position to define success more for ourselves than we would if we were subject to a boss or a school system that could tell us how we are doing. This can be both good and bad. Either we are really lucky, or really crazy!
Make no mistake--I am well aware of the sincere concerns that many people have about us crazy folks who homeschool. We have been homeschooling now for 8 years, and I have heard and/or overheard and/or read about most of those concerns.
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| These people are crazy! |
Some people believe that homeschoolers are lazy people who can't or won't be disciplined enough to comply with a regular school schedule. They think we like to sleep in and that most days we just don't do anything.
Some people see those of us who homeschool as the equivalent of parents who choose "natural" remedies for serious illnesses when professional medical providers should be making educated treatment decisions that parents are simply incapable of making. That is, homeschool parents are delinquent because we refuse to let the "professionals" teach our kids, when they can do a much better job of it.
Others still believe that we are religious radicals who are too afraid to integrate into a secular environment for fear that our children will lose their souls if they step one foot into a public school building.
Another criticism I have heard is that we think we are just "too good" for regular schools. Ha! Sorry...I have to laugh aloud at that one!
Not all people believe these extreme things, of course, but MOST people do believe, at the very least, that homeschoolers are awkward people who cannot effectively navigate the social world, cannot carry on a "normal" conversation, and cannot have sufficiently robust social lives. Heck, I used to think the same thing myself!
Now, of course, I have very solid counter-arguments to each of those concerns, and others. But my purpose today is not to address such things, but to comment on the challenge of measuring success when we live outside of the mainstream...and especially so in a world that seriously doubts that our parenting choices are sane. Ha!
The thing is, we do use many of the same mainstream standards to measure our children's progress, such as in testing and grading. These can be very helpful to me in determining where adjustments need to be made in our curriculum. Additionally, we, have involved our children in programs that encourage achievement, like music competitions and academic testing. We, like all parents, really enjoy celebrating when they do well at these challenges and are genuinely proud of what our kids have accomplished through their hard work and talent and diligence. And it does provide some comfort to those who are worried about our radical child-raising approach to see that we are meeting widely accepted standards of achievement. ;-)
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| This weekend was the WATS Awards Ceremony through the Center for Bright Kids. This is the only year we will have 3 children participating at once, and ALL THREE of them were recognized for scoring with Highest Honors! That means that their advanced test scores were in the top one half of one percent of all students taking these tests nationally and internationally within the past year. That's the creamiest of the cream of the crop for academic testing, huh? Additionally, Avery got Colorado's Top Score for 7th Graders in English and Science on the ACT (perfect scores in those areas at age 12???). Courtney was awarded Top Score among Colorado 4th Graders for a perfect score in English on the Explore test (a 9th grade level test). We have to send these results in to the State of Colorado so they can make sure we are meeting state standards for homeschooling families. I think they will consider us in pretty good shape! |
I definitely don't discount such measures of success. I welcome them for the valuable information they can provide. I am pleased that I can reassure the state, our family and friends, and future academic institutions (colleges) of our diligence in providing an effective education for our children in a nontraditional environment.
And, at this time of the year as we are wrapping up the school year, there's a lot of that measuring going on:
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| The Colorado School of Mines, where the WATS Awards Ceremony is held each year, has a beautiful campus. |
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| That cute little brother is so proud of them! Go Team Merrill! |
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| Posing with my Constitution Bee winners next to the monument on liberty that we found at Temple Square. Chase was the first place winner for his age group, Avery was the first place winner for his age group, and Courtney achieved fourth place in her age group. Trey, as always, was just happy to tag along! P.S. Why is Chase so darn tall? |
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| Spring Recital and awards from Cheryl Reeder's Piano Studio: They all successfully completed the 30 pieces in 30 weeks challenge. Avery learned 54 pieces, Chase learned 70, and Courtney learned 113! Wow! They also earned gift cards and trophies in the practice challenge. Courtney got an Honorable Mention in the practice challenge, while Chase and Avery both brought home first place trophies this year. These kids work hard! |
Yes, I am SO proud of all the first places, second places, honorable mention places, highest honors rankings, top scorers awards, winners, scholarships, certificates, medals, trophies, gift certificates, etc., etc.!
But, I have learned that in my day-to-day role as a homeschool mom, my measures of success are very different...and sometimes not very "measurable" at all. What I ask myself in determining what is really important in measuring success is much more like this:
Are they humble? Do they recognize from whence their blessings come and their complete dependence on their Heavenly Father for their eternal happiness?
Are they caring? Do they observe the needs of others and try to reach out in kindness? Do they serve out of love and not just out of duty?
Do they work well with others? Do they strive to make those around them better, recognizing that diminishing other people does not elevate themselves? Are they good friends? Do they love each other and enjoy being together?
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| Okay, seriously! I was begging for ONE decent picture, but they all had fits of the giggles, and then Trey had to jump into the picture with that crazy pose. Oh my heck! These kids are hilarious! And they are really, truly the best of friends. |
Do they have courage to try difficult things, even if they might fail?
Are they curious? Do they love learning? Do they know how to ask questions and find answers? Do they know how to discern truth from error or deception?
Do they work hard? Do they recognize the value of investing time and effort and doing their best? Do they try to do more than what is minimally required? Do they realize that hard work is essential to happiness and achievement? And are they prepared to work hard throughout the rest of their lives in order to progress in God's plan for them?
Are they developing faith in God? Do they understand what it means to be a covenant maker and a covenant keeper? Are they willing to keep God's commandments and remember Him always?
Are they learning to feel the Holy Spirit? Do they recognize the fruits of the Spirit and can they identify what it feels like to have the Spirit with them as much as possible?
Are they learning about the mission of Jesus Christ? Do they recognize the choice He made out of love for them, and what He expects of them in return? Are they willing to follow Him? Do they understand sacrifice? Do they try to follow the example of Jesus Christ by loving and serving one another?
Do they know where to find God's laws and are they trying to obey them? Do they know that they are children of God and that they possess a divine inheritance and have a divine destiny? Do they have confidence in themselves that comes from a deep trust in God and His love for them? Do they understand repentance and forgiveness?
Do they truly love their Heavenly Father?
Do they have realistic expectations about themselves and about relationships and about life? Can they be flexible and willing to change when necessary? Can they sometimes give their "perfectionism" a rest and chill out? ;-)
Do they understand the importance of family in God's plan? Are they preparing to enter the temple with a worthy spouse with whom they can build an eternal family? Do they see marriage and family as the workshop for developing selfless, enduring, Christlike love? Are they willing to sacrifice selfish tendencies to love one another?
Do they strive to always abound in good works? Do they live with integrity, acting out of a sense of right and wrong and doing what they say they will do?
Do they take initiative to get things done without being prodded or prompted constantly? If they know they need to do chores, or practice, or complete their schoolwork, do they know how to get themselves to do it without being asked?
Do they know how to be discerning in their studies? Do they know how to seek learning out of the best books? Can they find materials that are well-crafted and designed to bring them closer to Christ? Do they recognize the scriptures and the prophets and the Holy Spirit as the most reliable sources of truth?
Do they understand history as the study of God's dealings with mankind on the earth? Do they recognize their place on the stage of that story? Do they understand the principles of freedom and are they prepared to defend freedom on earth as they once did in the premortal life?
Are they learning to be organized and eliminate clutter and chaos from their lives? Can they manage their time effectively?
Do they take care of their bodies by obeying the Word of Wisdom? Do they try to eat well, exercise, and sleep sufficiently? Are they learning to listen to the Spirit and not fads or worldly trends in the way they take care of themselves? Do they respect their bodies by dressing modestly?
Are they patient with themselves and others?
Do they persevere to accomplish difficult things? Do they know how to problem solve when they meet an obstacle, or do they give up and wait for someone else to fix it for them? Are they resourceful and creative?
Do they know how to choose happiness? Are they willing to bloom where they are planted and see the good in their circumstances? Are they grateful and humble?
Do they laugh and have fun? Do they find the humor in everyday life without making fun of others or hurting people's feelings? Can they laugh at themselves and the ridiculous things in life? Can they be cheerful in most circumstances?
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| Here we are at the WATS ceremony again, and all of us are trying to hold back the giggles because our little 5-year-old photographer had us cramped under this tree while he struggled to take a picture without cutting off the tops of our heads in the image. "Okay! Wait. Hang on. Okay, ready! Picture! Oh, oops. Let's try that again." |
Now, there is no first place trophy available for the qualities of character I have listed here. There is no certificate or scholarship or medal. And in some of these areas my children are doing well, while in others they need a lot of work.
The same can be said of me and of Nate as their parents. But in terms of curriculum in the area of character, we hope to be their living textbooks and show them that we are striving to improve in our lives as well. And we hope to do it humbly, through prayer, through obedience, through worship and service and through lots and lots of love...and without testing and competitions and awards and ceremonies.
So, congratulations on all of your fine achievements, kids! We really are so pleased with what you have been able to do. We really believe that the awards you receive are wonderful because they demonstrate the qualities of your character that you are working to develop! And we certainly appreciate it when you make us look good in front of our naysayers. Ha! But we hope you know that the strength of your character, the depth of your testimony, and the fortitude of your commitment to our Heavenly Father and His Son are the REALLY worthwhile achievements for which you can strive in this life. You help us in that effort, and we plan to do everything we can to help you. With lots and lots and lots of love!!!!
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